Cigu: The Dangerous one!!

Recently government of India increased the restriction on presence of cigarettes in movies and here is the reaction of famous trio, Cigu, Beeru and Guttu.

Cigu: I am fed up with Govt. of India, they have suggested that I can’t act in any movie/if I do than a warning “Smoking is injurious to health” is mandatory. But they haven’t put up any restriction on your (Beeru & Guttu) usage, this is Bull Shit!!

Beeru: What do you mean!, we are not as dangerous as you are. You are responsible for millions of death, cancer and what not!! It’s a good measure to impose restriction on you.

Guttu: Beeru, you are right!!, Cigu is too too dangerous. Do you know he is the main cause of lung, mouth cancers and Asthma and heart attack as well.

Now Cigu is furious

Cigu: Beeru! you are telling this to me. You are the main reason for many accidents and death of innocent people. You ruin the future of small children, as their father’s are addicted to you. You cause such public nu-sense and encourage people to beat up their spouse & kids and murders, etc.

Ah! I forgot, you are the main reason for liver cancer. You make people to lose control and consciousness. But I am the one who is targeted by the Govt.

Cigu continues and turns his focus on Guttu: Guttu, you are a bastard. You are the main reason for mouth cancer and not me. Have you ever visited a Govt. office or public place your stains are everywhere. You are the most disgusting thing ever produced. you are the most hated among rich and famous. But me and my brothers are liked and enjoyed by one and all. We are found in every nook and corner of the world.

Note: Cigu’s brothers are cigar, hookah, Beedi, etc.

Cigu, continues:

I generate close to Rs.10,000 crore in form of taxes to govt. and still they treat me in this way. These policies are rubbish, you guys (mentioning to Beeru and Guttu) should be treated in same way as me.

Beeru: I generate more money than you and I have many contacts in Govt. Be cool someone will fight for you.

Guttu: As you said (Cigu), I maintain low profile and I am the last one to fall in problems.

Cigu: Well Aamir Khan is fighting for me. If he is not successful than I wish he drags you guys down to accompany me.

Beeru & Guttu: Don’t worry bro, if he is successful or not, we all have same motto
KILL THE CONSUMER

British Raaj & UPA’s Goonda Raaj, similarities

A bunch of European sailors came to India for trade / business purpose and later they ventured into colonial activities and by year 1800 they had entire India under their control. It took more than 90 years for us, Indians, to get our freedom from foreign rulers. But things haven’t changed for the common man, he is in constant fight against poverty, suffering and rulers. Pre-independence its was Britishers, post-independence its against Politicians. If we compare the India then and now, we might not see much of changes. Lets compare British Raaj & UPA’s Goonda Raaj

British Raaj

Ruled by Viceroy’s in India, but he is controlled by Queen Elizabeth 1.
Family hierarchy and Royal family is the most benefited.
They came here for the purpose of trade, but late looted India of its precious wealth.
People were fed up with the Raaj and revolted against it.
Suppression and divide & Rule were the main weapons used against any revolt.
Gandhi was the man who stood against them.

UPA’s Goonda Raaj

Ruled by Man Mohan Singh, but controlled by Sonia Gandhi.
Gandhi (Actually it should be Nehru Family) is the beneficiary.
They won election with a motto to serve people, but they are looting India by means of Corruption.
Common Man is fed up with UPA’s Raaj and is revolting against it.
Same policies are being used now as well.
Anna Hazare, a Gandhian is the man behind the movement against corruption.

Well, Winter session of Parliament 2011 is on and the way its currently working it would be a surprise if Jan Lokpal Bill is discussed forget about being passed. We have elected these candidates to represent us in the parliament but their acts inside it looks like a fish market.

“Machi le lo Machi”
“Crab le lo Crap le lo”

At last it ends in crap.

WTF, Kasab is still not executed!!

On 26th Nov 2008, Mumbai was attacked and 166 people were killed by a group of heartless terrorists.  one of them was captured, Ajmal Kasab, cases were on and he was pronounced guilty but is still not executed and I am sure the way our judicial system works it will take at-least a decade or he would be freed by his terrorist friends. What would our retard Govt. will tell its citizens, go fuck yourself.

Thanks to Aseem Trivedi's Cartoons Against Corruption

I am really worried about one factor that is other terrorist trying to free up this bastard. India had to release 3 terrorist (Mushtaq Ahmed Zargar, Omar Saeed Sheikh and Maulana Masood Azhar) in exchange of hijacked aircraft with 176 people in it. With delay in executing this guy for the crimes committed might turn into a great mistake.

Govt has spent more than Rs.100 crore (Both direct and indirect) to protect this terrorist. How much did govt. pay as compensation to the killed and injured’s family, just Rs. 13.75 crores. Here is the breakdown:

Killed Citizens: Rs. 500,000 (Rs. 6.6 Crores)
Killed Police & Army personnel : Rs. 2,500,000 (Rs.5 Crores)
Injured : Rs. 50,000 (Rs.1.75 Crores)

So my fellow citizens, govt thinks a terrorist and a criminal (many times they find themselves in this category) is more important than a tax paying citizen. What does these politicians and bureaucrats think, do they think this “India’s population is increasing day by day, terrorism is a best way to control population”.

I am sure, Kasab would be laughing at our judicial system, its a big Joke. I will tell you why, he is appealing in high court, supreme court and clemency from president. When all these things happen it will take a decade or more. When he committed these crimes he was cold blooded and why can’t govt. be cold blooded as well. Many times Govt. has been cold blooded against its tax paying citizens, (Does anyone remember how govt. treated Baba Ramdev & his supporters in Delhi, Killing of a farmer in Pune during a protest rally, etc,), why such a soft stance towards a terrorist?

Is it facing problem in executing, please hand him over to public they will ensure that he is well taken care of, remember they were the one’s who were most affected by him. I know it will not be done, so My only question, when will govt. execute kasab?

Best Free Antivirus Softwares / virus shields

We are reaching the end of 2011, and its common for everyone to look out for upgrades for 2012, be it looks, accessories, gadgets etc. One of the things every computer user (let it be desktop, laptop or netbook) tend to do is update Antivirus or buy a new one. Here are 3 free softwares which would help you in getting a basic but effective antivirus or virus shields.

1. Microsoft Safety Scanner:

You should check out Microsoft Safety Scanner. This is a free antivirus software, always updated with the latest definitions, and requires no installation – all you need to do is copy the program executable msert.exe to an infected computer and double-click that file. If it detects a problem, the infected files will be quarantined. This valid only for a period of 10 days and you have to re-download but each time you would be surprised to find this an updated version from the previous one.

This is mostly useful for the people who occasionally have to use a shared computer and doubt that its infected with viruses.

2. Avira Antivirus:

This is the best free antivirus any one could lay hands on, this is a basic version which doesn’t contain Anti-phishing or mail protection. Be assured that 90% of your internet based virus are dealt by this software. You could download this antivirus from Avira’s official website.

If you find this free antivirus useful then you could go for the full version by paying only Rs.550 or $11, which is loaded with Anti-phishing & Mail protection.

3. Deep Freeze:

This is not an anti-virus, It’s a “reboot-to-restore” application. This protects your system by preventing unwanted applications from sticking to your original configuration. Once installed, Deep freeze memorizes the original configuration and on each reboot system gets back. It’s a very very effective tool to protect your system from all kinds of virus and malware.

To install any new application, first you have to disable Deep Freeze, once installation is complete than re-activate Deep Freeze.

You can download free version of Deep Freeze from here.

I have been using Deep freeze and Avira, close to 2 years now and i haven’t faced even a single issue until now. Used Microsoft safety scanner very recently, when one of my friends was having issues with malware and Trojans, it works starts from the basic foundation of windows and that’s a huge plus when compared with other similar products. The best thing about all these applications are that they are very compact and would require a memory space of 150 MB only.

Prophecy/prediction is like a glass of Water,Half Filled or Half Empty, You Interpret!!!

Returned from work and switched on the Idiot Box (Television), a news channel was airing a show on Doomsday, predictions, 2012, 2000, Nostradamus, etc, etc. I have been hearing this since year 1999 (about year 2000) I was 15 then. I still can’t understand why so many people believe them. Some of my friends argue that many of the predictions are true and would be unwise take credit out of them. The most prominent being Nostradamus and 2012: Mayan Prediction.

Well have you wondered, these prophesies are the bad ones, what happened to all the good ones did these prophets didn’t see anything good coming in future generation.

Its the human nature to look into negative and many of these prophecies are searched upon only when something terrible happens.These forecasts can be comforting because they suggest that the horrible incidents were inevitable, that they happened as part of a larger plan. Through the course of human history, there have been hundreds of notable prophets, but in the wake of modern tragedies, one name seems to pop up more than any other: Nostradamus

Nostradamus is famous for his book “Les Prophecies” (The Prophesies), which was first published in 15th century. This book contains around 1000 prophesies and all of them are undated. Many scholars follow his work and interpret current happenings to his prophesies, this is where prophesies fail. Many events do happen around the world and when we interpret with some vague words with an event, it seems like the prophecy has come true.

Here are some verses that were used to relate 9/11 with his prophecy

“In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures,
The great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning”

“Earthshaking fire from the Centre of the earth

will cause tremors around the New City.

Two great rocks will war for a long time,

then Arethusa will redden a new river”

Well if I interpret then i could relate this to Srilanka (LTTE vs Singalis), Killing of Rajiv Gandhi and the war that took place for so many years.

I am only curious, why these predictions are used only when something happens to developed nations, were these prophets rich biased, why haven’t they predicted the drought in African nations, war in Srilanka, Death of innocents in Afghanistan (Pre 9/11), etc.

These predictions are very vague and if any one believes them than they are the biggest fools in the whole world.

Oh I forgot, what will happen to us after 2012, Ancient Mayans predicted this. Oh really, did they predict their own end, if yes then why did they extend the calendar till 2012. If no, we don’t have to worry about Dooms day, because they weren’t able to predict their own end.

If people believe about Ancient Mayan Calendar why don’t people believe in Ancient Hindu calendar which is as old or older than Mayan calendar. As per Hindu’s the human life is divided into 4 different phases and we are living in “Kali Yuga”, the last phase of these four. “Kali Yuga” has 432,000 years and this has started in the year 3102 BC and that means we have close to 427,000 years to live, so we shouldn’t worry about any Dooms Day or Apocalypse.

Its human nature to fear and be afraid; these conspirators use this and fill us with fear.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, if afraid than it will never begin.

One life, Live it.

Why Govt. of India Shouldn’t bail out Kingfisher Airlines

Mr. Vayalar Ravi, Aviation Minister, I know you have the responsibility to look after airlines industry and just look at the below list before even thinking about a possible bailout of KA.
Mr. Pranab Mukharjee, Finance Minister, think as a buisness man who works for common man and not as an commission agent of Mr.Mallya.

1. A beggar can’t bail out a beggar: Govt. of India and its appointed chairman is struggling to run or save Air India, how could these bunch of buffoons save KA. How many times AI has delayed payment of salary to its employees? what’s the loss incurred by AI on daily basis, yearly basis?

2. What’s the benefit for Mango Man (Aam Aadmi): Don’t waste your money on rich bastards, use these funds for educating the rural and under privileged children of India. You came to power shouting Aam Aadmi, Aam Aadmi, now you are going on this. We have 1000+ farmers who committed suicides, where were you when these guys went under. Bloody you are now saving rich bastard who runs around girls in bikinis and spends crores on parties.

3. Its Business Baby: Have you looked into their Balance Sheet or quarterly or half yearly earning reports. What’s the future forecast for Airlines industry, who will pay for this restructuring? Please do the home work and later think about bail out or influencing the banks.
Any idea how much taxes KA has paid KA, only Rs.7.10 Crores and this was paid in 2006 & 2007 and since then GOI has earned Rs.0 from KA. Each and every citizen has at-least paid GOI, directly(Income Tax) or indirectly(Service Tax) Re.1. But KA hasn’t paid you even a single paise. why do you want to save them, they will not revive.

If you don’t know then please have a look at this:

Balance Sheet extract:

Do you see a row net worth: That’s what the company is worth -2951.19 crores, do you know how much you have to infuse into this company to stay afloat? Minimum of Rs.5000 crores(directly or indirectly), how much did it pay you in taxes mere Rs.7.10 crore.

Ask Mr. Mallya whether he will return this kind of favor to anyone, or at-least to a person who drinks, floats in Kingfisher Beer.

Dude be a business man when dealing with a business man, he will not even look at you if it doesn’t benefit him. (Oh!, I forgot you bastards also do the same, you appear once in five years and disappear later) 😉

4. Its a trigger bomb: If a bailout package or restructuring package is forced upon by GOI, then all the struggling airlines will line up, Jet is next, spicejet after that, damn all the airlines are struggling, do you give this package to everyone.

Because of your insanely or un-professional act loosers would be:

0. Kingfisher Calender babes: They will not have any other calender to expose. 😉
i. Banks: because they have lent the amount to KA. They have already lost Rs: 1000 crores in re-structuring
ii. Stock Exchange: Blood bath on all the related parties, if it goes under the effect would be once, otherwise it will be a continuous bloodbath.
iii. Mango Man, Sorry Common Man (I don’t know why I like “Mango Man”): We pay the fuckin Tax dude and don’t waste the money.

5. Empty planes only make losses: I usually travel between Hyderabad and Bengaluru, i usually opt for Bus i will tell you the reason why:

i. I get pick-up near by to office and drop point is near my home.
ii. It costs me only Rs.700 to Rs.1100 (Only Volvo or Mercedes)
iii. Travel Time: 8 hours
iv. I usually opt(95%) for 11.00PM Bus.

If i take a flight then:
i. Cab cost: Rs.250 + Rs.250
ii. Flight cost: Rs.3000 minimum
iii. Travel Time:
a. Cab: 1hr + 1hr (congestion free time)
b. Waiting Time & Check in: 2hr
c. Travel time: 1.5 hrs minimum
so my total time to travel is 5.5 hrs and we don’t have any flights in between midnight 12.00 and morning 6.00AM.

Twice i had to travel by flight and both the times i traveled by KA and in 72 seater plane, total occupants were around 20 and 30 respectively. And while waiting in the lobby the no.of travelers for Bengaluru/Hyderabad flight were also in the same range and time difference was only 15 minutes.

Tell me now why would these operators would not make losses.

I think these guys haven’t hired any Cost Accountants or if any employed those guys would be Chairwarmers.;)

Oye, You Mr. Vayalar Ravi, Pranab Mukahrjee follow these steps and later everything would work out smoothly.

1. Call all these bleeding airlines heads, beat the shit out of them.
2. Hire a good Cost Accountant and Statistician, and study the requirements of the industry and avoid the duplication, streamlining works.

This is the best advise:

If you are thinking about bailout, decide the package amount and give it to me. If you give to KA you will not get anything, if you give it to me at-least you will earn Income Tax (Tax on Interest Income) and service tax (when i buy things).

I also know why GOI would push for bailout:

1. Missed chances of hooking-up with Kingfisher babes.;)
2. If KA goes down, UB will pressurized and by chance it goes Kapoot then GOI will miss crores in Liquor Revenue and lobbying.
3. what’s your Commission percentage? 😉

Bangalore Then and Bengaluru Now!!!!

Bangalore, Ooops Bengaluru has changed, not only its name but what it was twelve years ago and what it is now. I used to enjoy going around in bangalore, not much of vehicles, fresh air, trees, gardens, playgrounds, etc. In the name of Development bengaluru has been robbed, it has lost what ever it was termed as. Earlier it was termed as Garden city, Pensioners Paradise, etc but it has been replaced by Garbage City, Concrete City, Suicide city, and what not.

Here is a comparison of some of the places then and now and some places which are on the verge of being rolled down:

1.

In eight years 4th Main road, Jayanagar has changed. I used to call this stretch of road as “Hasiru Mantapa” (Green Cover) but now i have renamed it to “Metro Mantapa”.

View from Google Earth, you can see the scar on the green cover. (I think Google earth is not updated, as the view from ground gives a completely different picture).

2.

This picture is of Palace Gutthalli, it has remained so, but in a few months Bengalureans will not find this spot. Road widening is here, all the trees on this stretch of 1.2kms (from Mekhri circle to Palace Gutthalli will be axed). And No of trees to face the axe is 700+ (many are aged 25+ years). I have very wonderful memories of this place, we lived very close to this place and most of our morning walks and fun and masti used to happen in and around this place.

3.

Sampige Road, Malleswaram: Malleswaram is one of the oldest residential and commercial localities in Bengaluru. This road was named after looking at the trees which were on either side of the street, Sampige or Champak trees.

I didn’t see even a single surviving Sampige tree on this entire stretch now. This really shows that we have moved away from our roots and thought of our ancestors.

What we are going to give our future generation is just this

Time to think again, road widening doesn’t solve the problem, it just adds up. A dude thinks “We have a traffic free road, if I have a car or a bike then I can reach office faster”. 1000 others think in same lines in a month you have additional 1000 cars/bikes.

Road widening, flyovers, underpasses, etc have added more vehicles and in turn traffic congestion’s. This is a vicious cycle and it will continue till alternate ways are found or oil prices become unaffordable.