Formula1-2011: Vettel wins first Indian GP

Everyone in India knows about our little elephant Mayawati. And everyone knows about for her fetish to install statue of her own in every nook and corner of UP. As soon as I saw Mayawati in Budh International Circuit, my thoughts ran towards the trophies to be presented to the podium finishers and I imagined this:

But in reality it was quite different, just have laugh with my act of fiction.

Well done vettel and congratulations on your win.

Kubica get well soon, your fans are missing you and your crazy driving skills.

Ra.One Review – 4/10

Ra.One, the most expensive Indian movie, was made with an expense of Rs.160 Crores ($40 Million). With a cast of Sharukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal and others and Tom Wu he is the most important person you know. Crew are the crux of this movie, and it contained most amazing persons you could gather for a huge budget movie. Indian movie without songs and dance is incomplete, we had plenty of them. Background music was provided by Vishal and Shekar, and the main attraction was R&B Star “Akon”, who did a marvelous job in song “Chammak Challo” and other song “Criminal” was okay-dokay.

I watched this movie, today; 26th October 2011, movie starts with, wait a minute I have already forgotten. This is the impact of this movie’s beginning, you have Sanjay Dutt, Priyanka in the most ridiculous opening scene of a movie, to be short Me and my friends call it “Poor Jokes” or PJ’s. And you get them till the end in the form of boob grabbing, butt spank, Keys and Kiss confusion, Condom for Koncham, vulgorous usage of Tamil and this really insults a Tamilian, it’s a shame that SRK was okay with such cheap jokes. This Movie would have been great without any touch of comedy, we require situational comedy and not this kind of cheap trick.

Lets come to the story, Shekar (SRK) is a Gaming engineer and his wife is Sonia (Kareena) and they have a son Prateek (Aarmaan), who is geek gamer. Prateek is a cool dude and Shekar the opposite, now shekar tries to impress his son but fails miserably each time. And as per his son’s wish he works on a game and creates a game where the Villain is the most strongest and couldn’t be defeated. The Villain is Ra.One (doesn’t have a face and could change his appearance, remember something – Terminator) and the hero is G.one. Ra.one is almost defeated by Prateek and this makes him desperate for revenge and with his artificial intelligence and available resources in the organisation he comes out from game to the Real World and searches for Prateek. From this point onwards the real movie story starts, but journey till the end remains bumpy. Rating for concept is 8/10 (Tron’s next version) but for entire story rating would be 4/10 (And Direction remains same)

I am a huge fan of Science Fiction movies and also a student of visual effects and graphics, I was pretty impressed and my hearty congratulations to the entire crew in visual effects, sound effects and 3D conversions department. You guys rock and your rating is 9/10.

Next thing on the line is Acting, pretty good job from Armaan (the kid), you get 8/10 my friend, others were 5/10 and this includes even SRK’s rating as well. G.One’s robotic act was much similar to SRK’s act in “My name is Khan”.

Special appearance acts, everyone was forgettable. But Rajani sir got a standing ovation from the audience for his one minute act. Take rest sir, you have to act for many more years.

The movie could have been better if this was followed:

1. Story should have been precise, should have avoided comedy and gimmicks.
2. Tom Wu, you guys have completely wasted him, and I am happy that Jackie Chan didn’t agree to this movie.
3. Songs, should have been completely avoided they don’t have any meaning at all in this movie.

SRK, please hire me as an editor and I will promise you that i will make this movie more interesting and short. If you have a short and good movie you can sell it anywhere and trust me this movie has every good potential, songs and comedy has just ruined it. Please re-edit the movie and you can earn very handsomely with global audience.

Still, SRK Thanks a lot for this movie. You have shown that Bollywood can compete with Hollywood, as I said above, work on Story and Editing.

Ratings

Story : 4/10 (Comedy killed it)
Acting : 5/10
Technology : 9/10
Music : 4/10 (Chammak Challo gets: 8/10 others below 2)
Over All movie Rating: 4/10

Ra.One, why this movie would be a …..!!

From last couple of days, each and every channel is showing ad’s of Ra.One and I am fed-up with it. I heard the songs in my neighborhood music store and surprised to see a song has been composed 5 times, ya the “Chammak Challo – Sung by Akon” and whoever brought the music cd is the biggest looser. It’s not even worth Rs.10 leave alone of paying Rs.160 on this.

Couple of days back i was very fortunate to watch the “Chammak Challo”, “Criminal” and I was short of throwing out. Choreographer definitely needs a slap or kick, what are those steps. SRK doesn’t look good, Akon would have been better in this video. (I don’t know why I hate these 2 songs, it might be because of Voice Suitability)

Looking at the kind of hype that’s being created around this movie, I have a feeling this movie might be a failure. If a movie is good, it doesn’t need too much of advertising, word of mouth is enough for publicity. Take for example most of the low budget movies which has vinay pathak’s, Abhay Deol’s, even SRK’s initial movies, were hits without much publicity. Story and acting are the 2 main crux of a movie, I hope these two things are in abundant in this movie.

Hero worship is another worst thing, whether movie is good or not, a bunch of fans would definitely watch the movie. In recent times certain movies and stars have used hype and hero-worship as driving factors and were successful, you can guess those movie names, even these crazy fans know it and crib that movie was utter waste.

30+ is the no. of companies which have partnered with this movie. If all the company logos are pasted on each part of SRK, then he wouldn’t be visible at all.

Here is the list of companies:

Cinthol
ESPN & Star Sports
Godrej
Google+ & Youtube
Homeshop18
Horlicks
Indiagames
Kingfisher Airlines
McDonald
Nvidia
Nerolac
Nokia
Sony
UTV
Videocon
Western Union

One thing i forgot to mention, Promotional drives on TV programmes, this has taken toll on my moms favorite daily soaps (I had mentioned about my mom’s attachment to daily soaps), SRK has appeared on all the popular ones and this is just ridiculous to promote a movie, you are almost begging for screen presence. SRK you don’t need that, people know you and they will help you win, few things to remember is that have a good story and back-up that with good acting.

Coming to the story, I am guessing here, this looks like a mash up of Tron, Irobot, Terminator, Robot, etc.

This ends my ranting against Ra.One.

But some of these points are also big ++++++ of SRK, its not very common that 30+ companies are interested in your movie and invest in the promotions. Free publicity is on offer and also additonal earnings, some of these could be your potential clients in future. So its a Double benefit for SRK and a huge plus of the companies.

Lets talk about the crew who are working on this movie:

Nicola Pecorini – Director Photography
Martin Walsh – Editing
Resul Pookutty – Sound Designer
Prime Focus – 3D Conversion
Jeff Kleiser – Visual Effects
Robert Kurtzman – Wardrobe Designer (Ra.One & G.One)

And many more, these guys have worked on many global movies such as Avataar, Hulk, Stargate, Tron, etc.

Expectations are high and i hope movie is Good.

All the best SRK!!

Funny Pictures and websites

A few days back a new hair saloon opened in out neighborhood in RT Nagar, Bangalore. Saloon’s proficiency is on display:

Government of India, Please hire this guy to execute death penalties, atleast we can save some children.

It was a shocker on one of the leading websites, when the leader board actually comes up in this way:

Women now have mustache:

Bangaloreans are very Horny!

To all Horny people!!

From,
An Horny Guy

Disclaimer: This article doesn’t contain anything related to you or anyone whom you know, might be of someone you don’t or wouldn’t know. If you find any similarity with yourself or any dear one, then you stand exposed here. 😉

Chee, all of you are perverts!!! Nothing sexual here, only an article on Bengalurean’s (Banglaoreans) or rather Indian’s fondness of honking of horns.

“Ayie, yako kivi kelsalva, ashtu sarthi horn hodithini” (Can’t you hear, I have been repeatedly honking) shouted an A**H***, and my reply was simple.

“Haarkondu hogolo” (Fly above me). A bit of confrontation followed in the form of more honking from him.

Space between me and vehicle ahead was less than a meter and it wasn’t logical for me to start my vehicle to cover that gap. I was on a mission to save precious “Petrol”, which is worth Rs.75 per liter now.

Traffic jam of a mile is very common, but this art of honking is only followed in India.

when to use an horn:

1. An Indicator of Danger (In Bengaluru, most of the roads are dangerous with unlimited potholes and A**holes)
2. Driving in a Blind Spot. (We follow Gandhi’s 3 monkeys, only to certain extent. we always keep our eyes and ears closed, but our mouths and horns are always working)
3. Someone cuts into your lane or your path. (Lane, what is that? does Bengaluru roads have one?)

But why we use it (Indians):

1. To alert an resting buffalo or cow or other animals on the street. (Humans are also animals)
2. Every lorry asks me to Honk, so I do. (“HORN, OK, PLEASE”)
3. To wish some dear ones.
4. Time pass in traffic jam. (Jaise har ek friend jarror hota hai, horn bhi traffic jam me jarrori hai yaar,na na na na…..)
5. To Annoy or Abuse. (As in my case)
6. Background music to your songs. (Fit to be heard by yourself)

So why stop horny people, keep it coming.

Beeeeeep, Poooooommmmmm, Peeeeeehhhhhh,

My Favorite Book – Harry potter Series

My nephews Keerthan, 12 years and Goutham, 8 years came to my place last weekend and they would be stay with us for coming two weeks. They were excited as usual and my parents were more excited to recieve these two brats and mess our house a bit.

Yesterday was my birthday and we had a party, a small one at home. And wasnt able to log-in to my system for the whole weekend.Today, 11th I logged into my system and there came my nephews at the same time.

“We want to play games” asked Goutham.

“I have bit of work and will call you later, when I am done” I replied.

“Ok, can we stay here” it was Keerthan’s turn. Before I could answer, they jumped on the bed which was adjacent to my study desk and started staring at the monitor.

I logged into my account and in front of me was this week’s assignment: “My Favorite Book”. First thing that came to my mind was…. Leave it now, I will tell you guys about that later.

I asked this question to my nephew, Keerthan, and without hesitation he answered “Harry Potter, Akbar & Birbal, Tales of Tenali rama, “he would have continued, I blurted

“Why do you like it?” with raised eyebrows.

“I like it” he answered “they are good”.

I had read stories on Akbar & Birbal, Tenali Rama, during my childhood days and they were very small books and can understand it was quite possible, but harry potter caught me with bit of surprise.

“Have you read all the harry potter books” I knew it was 7 books and minimum of 2,500 pages to read.

“Yes”

“When?” I reacted.

“Last year, during my summer holidays”

“Did you read all those books, don’t lie to me?” I was about to frown thinking about the time required to read all those books.

“It took me two months to complete” Keerthan replied with a smile and he understood my dilemma. “It was easy, I was reading it during afternoon, and in night”.

Goutham was a mute spectator until now, he continued to play and watch simultaneously.

“Why did you read it?”

“I liked the movies and you were the one who was taking me to them”.

“I didn’t tell you to read that stupid book; movie is quite ok, 2 hours of entertainment and fun”. The above blame caught my nerves, but I cooled off and “Sorry, but I am really shocked you read those books, which are so big and I would never read a novel as lengthy as them. How was it?”

“It was fun, much different from the movies and mom helped me with reading them and it was good”.

I would have asked this question to Goutham, but answer from Keerthan was enough for me today.

“I still can’t believe you read them” I logged off from the website and ensured that I activated parental control.

“you can play games, I will go and see what’s cooking now”

I left the room without doing what I was supposed to do.

I leaned back from outside and asked my nephews “Do you guys want to go out for an Ice Cream Treat”

“Yeah, we will go to Oven Fresh” shouted Goutham “I want Gud-Bud Special”.

I came to common room, my sister was watching TV and I narrated “harry potter” conversation. She was laughing, “most of the kids in Keerthan’s class have read it and those books were passed on from their siblings and now these little tots are reading them”.

I didn’t have anything to speak now; I was just “Stupify”ied by my nephew.

Hmmm, let’s come to my favorite book now. I wasn’t a reader; I used to get bored or slept off, if I had a book in my hand. Only few years back, I developed interest in books, mostly related to finance, banking, management, motivational, etc. Many of these books are my favorites; but no clear favorite as I have picked up a lot of stuff from all of them.

I would honestly confess one thing; the book I hate the most is our school History books, they are just dates, who did what, when, where. But they never inspired, thought us value of life, happiness, right and wrong, etc. These books were just for the purpose of memorizing the dates and other stuff and vomiting out during our examinations.

I am happy for the fact that, my nephew has got the interest in reading books and hope he corrects me when I write a book 😉

Mom, Change the Channel!!!

“Is it 7’o Clock?” shouted my mom from kitchen.
“I am watching a movie and will end in 15 mins, you can watch later” I shouted back from the common room(I was watching the movie “Stealth”, yeah the movie in which a fighter aircraft operated by artificial intelligence program).

My mom came out of kitchen, wiping her wet hands. When I saw her face, it seemed like here eyes were locked on me. It seemed like the deadly plane had a locked a missile and was ready to pound me with one.
“It’s 7’o Clock and I have to watch a serial”, demanded my mom.
I am not the easiest guys to change the channel or to let go off the remote from my hands. As I said earlier about my mom’s eyes I had to obey her order, otherwise a missile would have been definitely be launched. I gave the remote to my mom with a slight disappointment, and it was quite visible on my face.
“This is the best Serial, Gopi is such a lovely lady and I hate Rashi” Started my mom (Serial that comes on one of Star Channel’s). In the mean time serial started, without any introductory song.(Most of the channels have now stopped introductory/title songs, which was a norm quite few years back)

I was away from home for quite a long period and wasn’t watching any TV programmes at all for close to 4 years, I decided to accompany Mom and watch this serial. I was totally unaware that the serial or that were to come for next 3 and half hours and top this list a reality show of an hour.

I really don’t know how many times, I requested my mom to change the channel, but she wouldn’t budge at all. All my efforts failed and I accepted defeat. As it usually happens to all the male characters in the Televised serials.

All the serials started with quite a bit of drama and was surprised to see some of the things or situations on all these shows had. And I am definitely sure that it will have these scenes in future (which i collated with help from my mom and sister, regular followers of daily soaps):

1. A person with multiple spouses.
2. Death of the main role, only to re-appear to see his/her spouse is re-married and the re-married spouse having confusion on arrival of earlier spouse.
3. Illegitimate child of the main role or supporting role
4. Dual role of the main character
5. Main character’s affair with the villain’s family member, etc, etc.

And I was also wondering why the television serials are called as Soaps, and my logical conclusion was simple -“We bath daily, hence we need Soap” (But i was not aware that we require so many Soaps to wash ourselves)

A few days back I heard the producer (she is some Kapoor) answering a question on inclusion of daily chores (Cooking, cleaning house, etc) in the Serials. Her answer was simple, we do it daily and characters also have to do it. OK Agreed, but I will also ask her not to include some of these

1. Dancing to movie songs (I was shocked to see one)
2. Going to the Toilet
3. Intimate scenes (If you do, Please show complete thing, as you are depicting the normal household)
4. Be realistic, don’t exaggerate everything. Beat down the costumes (I don’t see anyone wearing expensive and designer clothes all the time, even when they sleep)

And the last but not the least, please don’t make a serial inspired from West or Hollywood, you would completely ruin the concept and the story.

All my rambling is waste, as history has proved via Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi, saansar, etc serials always gives a hard time to people (actually I meant Men and only men)